Building the Ark in 2006

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard ... but no ark.

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!

When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and two rainbows stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, you're not going to destroy the world?".

"No," said the Lord. "The governmental systems you people created beat me to it."


God Bless America


Original author unknown.

What a brilliant way to make fun with the systems we created. Hope you get a good laugh out of this joke too!

Tax Refund Claim on Sewer Surcharge for San Antonio Hills Residents

Residents who live in the Los Altos Country Club area as we Realtors like to call it, the unincorporated/county area, are urged to file an individual claim form for property tax refund on the surcharge that was unfairly added to the annual sewer maintenance fee to residents who live outside of the City limits. The Sewer Fairness Project Committee, established by the Board of Directors of the San Antonio Hills Homeowners Association (SAHHOA) that represents the interests of the largest of the unincorporated areas in Los Altos sent out a letter on August 23, 2006 outlining the sanitary sewer issues together with a claim form to all homeowners in the area since 1969. The Committee intends to get a $585.96 refund for each single-family property owner whose property was connected to the sewer for the last four years. The residents are asked to return the claim forms by this Friday, September 15, 2006. Should the City of Los Altos reject the tax refund claims, the Committee has indicated it would file a lawsuit against the City. Please refer to the letter for details. Also, you can get info on SAHHOA's website

I suspect many others would be surprised to realize as I have how the public service territory limits are drawn. Los Altos Country Club is outside the City and is in the unincorporated County. These residents can't vote on issues and matters in the City of Los Altos. But while residents of the City and the unincorporated County share same name "Los Altos", we do not receive the same public services, such as street pavement, sewer services, police, and the fire department. Some Country Club area residents felt the unfairness because the sewer surcharge bill passed in the City of Los Altos meeting without the presence of the representatives from their area.

I have served as a bilingual poll worker each election for the past several years. I am not interested in partisan politics. However, I do believe in electing good public servants and encouraging voters to go out and vote for good candidates in hopes of bettering our community and society. Supporting this process is one of the ways I give back to my community. I know neither the system nor the results are always perfect. Read my other posting Building the Ark in 2006 a humorous way of looking at the systems we create. However, I do believe that over all progress is being made and the value is in the process.

Los Altos is a small quiet bedroom community with about 11,600 homes. It has always been a nice and congenial community. We have a lot of community events throughout of the year for the local people and neighboring cities like Mountain View, Palo Alto, Sunnyvale, Cupertino. There are several places you can find the Community Events Calendar. Here is Los Altos Downtown link, one of the great ones provided by the Los Altos Village Association. Enjoy it.

Stop the Credit Bureaus from Selling your Personal Information

Consumer Beware!

Welcome to the new information age! We are blessed with abundant information readily available in just a few key strokes away. On the flipside of the coin, we are cursed with having to take extra steps of precaution to protect our identity and privacy!

Have You Ordered Credit Report Lately?

Your name, address, credit score and even 7 digits of your social security number can be sold by a credit bureau immediately upon receiving an inquiry on your profile!

Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act, Equifax, Experian, Innovis, and TransUnion are permitted to include an enormous amount of your consumer information on databases they sell. This information can be sold immediately to any business willing to pay for it. Are you comfortable with that? Who knows what kind of security measures those companies who buy your private information make to protect YOU? As identity theft is quickly becoming one of the most common crimes in our country, we should be concerned.

The only way to avoid the sale of your personal information is to officially OPT-OUT by calling toll free 1-888-567-8688 or visiting www.optoutprescreen.com and following the instructions to do so. When you get to the website, you will choose to do one of three things (1) opt-in to the program (if you previously opted out, you can opt-in), (2) opt-out for a period of 5 years, or (3) opt-out permanently. The website is maintained by the credit bureaus and has a "sales pitch" giving you all the reasons why you shouldn't opt-out, but you can and should if you do not wish to have your consumer information sold.

11 Tips for Selling Your Home Fast in a Changing Market

In today’s rapidly changing economy, many homeowners wonder or worry about selling their home for the best price, and terms in the shortest period of time. Here are 11 helpful hints if you are considering selling your home:

1. Be realistic, and price your home right by using market comparisons.
2. Know your true bottom line for both price and time.
3. As the market shifts, be prepared to evaluate your price.
4. Advertising your property with yard signs, MLS, internet, real estate agents.
5. Get rid of the clutter! It makes your house appear smaller.
6. Clean your walls, floors, baseboards, cabinets, stove and refrigerator.
7. Clean up outdoors! Keep lawn and shrubs neatly trimmed.
8. Have the carpets cleaned to eliminate odors, smoke, and pet smells.
9. Make minor repairs such as leaky faucets, sticky doors, etc.
10. Hire a professional Realtor and work closely with your broker of choice.
11. This is an abundant world. Wealth comes in various forms. Relax.

Be sure to ask for a Merchandising Review before listing your property.
For Your Merchandising Review Call Yuli Lyman - (650) 917-7968